Why am I reading a sex education book for teens? Two reasons: I loved the Midwest Teen Sex Show (M.T.S.S.), written by and starring Nikol Hasler, and I’ve been mentoring teens at a high school for the last five years. The Midwest Teen Sex Show was an incredibly funny and informative internet web show. They have’t had a new episode for over a year now. I believe they were attempting to make a pilot for Comedy Central. And the kids I’ve worked with have questions, lots of questions. Sex ed leaves a lot to be desired. I was hoping Sex: A Book for Teens would carry the M.T.S.S. humor over, and that it would really cover the questions teens wanted to know. And while it’s a solid book, Hasler’s writing failed to meet my expectations on both counts.
The guide is much better than anything I had when I was a teen, which was essentially nothing. I didn’t even get abstinence education. The school I went to told everyone how fertilization worked, and that was about it. I haven’t sat through any sex ed with the students I work with, so I don’t know how much better it is. But their questions are further along than mine were at that point so I expect they are getting better information than I had.
The M.T.S.S. humor is extremely zany, and often physical. They wouldn’t think twice about having a performer dress up in a giant condom. In Sex: A Book for Teens, the humor seems like the Tonight Show version, toned down and enamored of itself. About the only parts I thought really funny were the last question in the Q&A section at the end of each chapter. That question was always titled There Are No Stupid Questions—Except for This One
. An example: I am really mad at my ex for breaking up with me and then still showing up whenever he wants some action. What is the best STI I can get quickly and give to him?
An example of the standard humor is this advice for when folks score: It also means you can get out your foam
Meh.I’m Number One!
finger and wave it all around.
As for advice, it’s all good. And it goes way beyond the standard this-is-how-things-work information into stuff lots of parents and adults don’t want to talk about. It covers the topics it really should (though often times I think the focus is misplaced). It’s very accepting of homosexuality, for instance. It’s got real explanations of the risks of birth control failing. It constantly flogs Planned Parenthood as a good resource. The list of good stuff is quite lengthy.
But it leaves some pretty common issues barely touched. The section on losing one’s virginity doesn’t really answer the question How do I go about arranging it?
It warns against doing it if the person isn’t ready (good). It warns of risks (good). It suggests knowing one’s body and that of the gender one wants to get busy with (good). But the guide leaves off questions like how do I bring this up with the other person?
, where should we do it?
, etc. One of the biggest misconceptions the kids seem to have (and I had too) was that sex wasn’t romantic if it was planned. Combine that with some taboos that say girls (and boys on occasion) aren’t proper if they seem interested in sex, and you get kids who just try to make it happen without real planning. The section on technique for straight kids mentions missionary position and suggest other positions but doesn’t name them or explain them. Nothing about using pillows to put someone in the right position, for instance. Masturbation for boys doesn’t cover cleanup.
A 181 page book can’t cover everything. It doesn’t have to cater to what I think is important. But the subjects I wrote about above, as well as others, came up over and over when I talked with students. The book answers a fair number of important questions, but leaves off a good chunk too. It’s worthwhile compared to what I had (nothing), but I don’t know how it compares to other teen sex advice books out there, since I’m not familiar with them. I really hope this is not the cream of the crop, cause it could be tons better.
Title: Sex: A Book for Teens
Author: Nikol Hasler
Imprint / publisher: Zest Books
Format: Paperback
Length: 181 p.
Publication date: May 2010
ISBN-10: 0-9819733-2-9
ISBN-13: 978-0-9819733-2-6
I received this book from the publisher through LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer program in exchange for a review to be posted on LibraryThing. In accordance with my police on review copies, I will donate $12.20 (the price of the book on Amazon.com) to the A.L.S.A.
Interesting. Anything is a start, but still has some flaws obviously from the sounds of it. I have to ask – is female masturbation mentioned at all? That seems to be a HUGE sex ed taboo.
Yup. It gets a little more space than male masturbation even.
Wow! I’m impressed! I really don’t remember much at all from my sex ed. My hope is always that with books like this is that while the first one might not be perfect, hopefully it will embolden others to do even better.
This really is a fantastic book. We have 5 daughters from 11 to 17 years of age and we have struggled to find a resource that they are happy to use when discussing sex and sexuality… until now!
My two oldest are almost 15 and almost 12, and when I showed them a picture of the cover– asking them if they thought this would be something they’d want to read; they basically said ‘ewww, gross!”
Apparently, a cover with cows having sex might not be that appealing to the teenage crowd — based on my very limited sampling (two kids). There are other books (I’d have to find them — they’re in their rooms) on sexuality geared towards teenagers that they’ve pored over again and again, though.
I’ve seen lots of criticism of the cover. It’s the logo used for the Midwest Teen Sex Show, so I see why they used it. I think they could have broken from the past though and picked something more appropriate for a sex book.